Silent No More #Abortion

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By Geri Ungurean

Writing usually comes easy to me.  Not so with this article. You see, I believe that the Lord wants me to be vulnerable, and to step out in faith. I believe that He wants to use me to help others.  I pray that this will glorify the Lord and will help others who are bound by the lies of the evil one.  I pray that this will bring reconciliation and peace with God to those who are in chains.

I’m going to tell you a story about me, of which I’m not proud; but it is part of my life, and the Lord has used it to shape and mold me. It happened ten years before I met the Lord Jesus and was born again in 1983.

I sang in a band in Washington, D.C. for a living back then. I had been brought up in the synagogue, but my family was more secular in their beliefs; especially my mom. I had been dating a fellow whom I thought really cared about me. I got pregnant, and soon found out that the man I was dating, was not interested in a serious relationship. When he heard about my pregnancy, he told me to take care of it. Then I never saw him again.

I didn’t want to take care of it.  I wanted to have the baby. I began searching for a home or somewhere I could go, where they would actually help me to have my baby and get me on my feet.  I didn’t know about churches, being a Jew. I would wind up at counseling centers, but they were not able to actually help me. They just talked to me. One counselor told me to tell my parents.  At that point, I knew that I needed to go to my mother and tell her.

When I told my mom, she very calmly said, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you to take care of it.” There it was again — that phrase that went right through me. Take care of it; first of all, what did that mean, and secondly, why call my baby an it?

I told my mom that I wanted to have the baby. That’s when she exploded. She yelled at me and told me that if I had this baby, that I was not welcomed in their home ever again. I didn’t realize this at the time, but this was happening the same year as Roe Vs. Wade was enacted. Abortion had become legal on demand. My mom knew this.

My mother took me down to the abortion clinic. A counselor spoke with me and asked if I had any questions. I had many. What did my baby look like right now? The answer was “Just a clump of cells.”  I asked how a clump of cells could be the beginnings of a baby. She told me that it was not a baby. I said that I had to think about this more. My mother was furious, and didn’t talk to me on the way home.

When we did get home, my mother said that she was going to give me a choice. Either I have the abortion, or never see the family again.  I cried the whole night. I felt like I was not in control of my life. I was sad and angry. The next day, my mother took me back down to the clinic.

I was in the procedure room, when a doctor came in and introduced himself. I told him that I still wasn’t sure that I wanted to do this. He rolled his eyes as he looked at the nurse.  But then he said for me to just relax. He said that it was the best thing that I was doing.  I was shaking. He began to gather his instruments and they had a sheet over my middle. I got up and ran, crying hysterically.  I saw my mother and she was very angry. I went back in and allowed the abortionist to do his job.

My mom never told my dad what had happened. I’m pretty sure that she knew that dad would not be in favor of abortion.  I wanted to die. I felt like a murderer. I was preoccupied with how I would die. It was the darkest time of my whole life.

Years went on, and I got married and had kids. Then, in 1983, after the suicide my sister in law, I met the Lord Jesus Christ through a Christian couple who had baked food for us during the time of the funeral. I believed I was saved, but the memory of the abortion haunted me day and night.

I remember a pastor speaking on the horror of abortion and how the Lord hated it. I felt a sinking feeling inside, as if perhaps I wasn’t really saved. I kept thinking to myself “How can the Lord think of me as His own, when I had done something so reprehensible. I couldn’t get this out of my mind.  I wanted to tell someone, but I couldn’t run the risk of them kicking me out of the church. I was convinced that I had committed the unpardonable sin. I was also convinced that no other woman in that church had ever done something like this.  I hated myself.

This went on for years.  I read the Bible every day.  I read verses like this:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

I would think to myself that I did confess this awful sin to Him, and according to His Word, He was faithful and just to forgive me and cleanse me. I would suddenly feel like I had the victory over this, but soon that guilt would return, and I would be back in that dark place.

I had nightmares about my baby. I knew that he was with Jesus, but in my dreams I was trying to find him. I just wanted to hold him.

Then I heard a pastor speak on abortion having at least two victims. The baby and the mother, and even sometimes the father.  I felt as if God Himself was speaking directly to me. The tears rolled down my cheeks as I listened to this godly man. He talked about repentance and forgiveness, and how God was waiting for those affected by what they had done, to come to Him so that He could forgive them. That day, the Lord freed me from the nightmare of what I had done.

I began writing letters to the editor about abortion. I didn’t speak of my abortion, but I spoke truth about the babies who were being slaughtered. I wrote that these little ones were not clumps of cells.  I would always get nasty rebuttals from the pro-death camp, but I didn’t care. I felt like the writing of the letters was a ministry of sorts. I needed to speak out for the babies!

We became part of a Baptist church where we placed hundreds of tiny blue and pink crosses in memory of the aborted babies.  Still, I never talked about my abortion.

In the last few years, I heard of a group of women called “Silent No More.” These were women who had abortions and had been tormented over it. They wanted to speak out about this, so that other women who were agonizing over their sin would know that they were not alone. They also hoped that their ministry might help women who were contemplating having an abortion – to change their minds.

Alveda King, niece of Martin Luther King, is part of that group. She is a lovely lady and her life is all about being part of the Pro-Life movement and Silent No More. She inspires me.

I love Pastor JD Farag, and hubby and I watch his prophecy updates each week. Last week, he spoke about the Planned Parenthood story which had just broken. Before he got into what he thought about the story, he made sure that if there were any women listening to him who had an abortion, he wanted to assure them that there is forgiveness at the Cross of Jesus Christ. This is so important for pastors to tell their congregations!

Did you know that studies have shown that the number of women in churches, who have had abortions, is just about the same as the women in the world? This shocked me at first. But then it confirmed the need for churches to minister to women who have done this in their lives — to lead them to the Cross for forgiveness.  The evil one constantly whispers his despicable lies to the children of God. He accuses us before our God day and night:

“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night” (Revelation 12:10).

Are you a Christian woman who had an abortion, who still struggles with receiving God’s forgiveness?  Do you know of a sister in Christ who is going through an agonizing time over this?  Are you thinking of having an abortion or know someone who is? I pray that this article will be used by God to bring His forgiveness and mercy to those who are tormented by their sin. I also pray that anyone who is thinking of having an abortion will see the impact this sin has on a person for the rest of their life.

Did you know that the only unforgivable sin is to reject Christ and die without Him?  When the devil speaks lies to you, and tells you that you will not be forgiven, do this…..

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

Satan has no power over you, child of God!  He is a liar and the father of them. He is the author of confusion.  Learn to say to him “Get thee behind me Satan!”

I was afraid when I first thought that the Lord wanted me to write this. I spoke to hubby about it. He was apprehensive too. We knew that this would open me up to possible attacks from unbelievers. We prayed about this. We both felt that it was worth the risk of backlash and ridicule, because writing this is glorifying to God.

God sent Jesus to the Cross, so that men and women could be reconciled to Him. Jesus paid the price for all of our sin. If He had not done that, we would die in our sins and all be bound for hell.  I believe that God wanted me to write this, because He wanted to tell the women who are being held captive by the lies of the evil one, that if you come to Him in repentance for the abortion and ask His forgiveness, He will forgive you!  And then He can use you in His battle for the lives of the unborn.

You can be Silent No More!

MARANATHA

grandmageri422@gmail.com

Comments

  1. This is an extremely sensitive and important topic to address. We all to often are quick to condemn others for choices that they make. When the truth is that they do not need more condemnation they need more love, mercy, and understanding. We may not agree with everything that others choose or understand why they make the choices that they do, but it is not up to us to do so. I believe that God’s greatest commandment was to LOVE one another in spite of our differences, which is really the whole challenge. He gave us such a simple task yet we miss the mark over and over again… That is what i find so incredibly inspiring about Christ, his limitless LOVE and MERCY on a people so undeserving…
    I used to have a hard time forgiving myself until one day my friend told me a story that his Pastor once told him. He said we know and believe that when Christ died he did so for the forgiveness of our sins if we would but confess, repent and turn away, yet many times in our prayers we continue to ask for forgiveness for the same sin over and over again as if we didn’t believe that that is what he came to offer us. I stopped doubting that day and realized that i only had to ask once and i could let go and let God heal my hurt because he said he would… I Thank God for his forgiveness, mercy, and grace because i know i fall short..

    1. Author

      I don’t think she was ever condemned by anyone, she felt condemned herself. First by knowing what she had done was not right and then after hearing the Pastor speaking about the tragedy of abortion. Years later when she heard another pastor speak about the mother and others as victims also, that she understood the power of forgiveness.
      Only because I know you I will say that be careful with saying “it is not up to us to do so”. To much understanding and no truth has lead many people astray, it is the opposite of Love. There is a fine line and knowing where that line is, is paramount.
      It is like a battle, in fact it is a battle. If I saw a fellow soldier walking walking towards a building that hasn’t been cleared yet as an example, I don’t say “I don’t agree with you are going, but its up to you”. I would probably tell him “Stop!! don’t go in there, its not safe. Not cleared yet” I love him as a brother in both examples, but I save him from pain,anguish etc only in the second.

      From Chucks talk on the book of Romans
      Some Perspectives of the Early Church
      1) They were not “on their own.” They had a real sense of community.
      “Ye are not your own; ye are bought with a price,” (1 Cor 6:19, 20).
      2) Life is a battle; a battle to the death!
      3) They had need for rest and leisure, but only to better prepare them for
      the battle.
      4) They understood that the gifts of the Spirit opened up a ministry for
      every single believer. (Those that were not exercising their gifts were
      defrauding the Body.)
      God has not called us to a picnic ground, but to a battleground!

      Everything we do should be directed to the spiritual growth (edification)
      of our neighbor. A Christian should not be self-centered, but should
      be concerned about the spiritual welfare of others

    2. I don’t think she was ever condemned by anyone, she felt condemned
      herself. First by knowing what she had done was not right and then after
      hearing the Pastor speaking about the tragedy of abortion. Years later
      when she heard another pastor speak about the mother and others as
      victims also, that she understood the power of forgiveness.

      Only because I know you I will say that be careful with saying “it is
      not up to us to do so”. To much understanding and no truth has lead
      many people astray, it is the opposite of Love. There is a fine line
      and knowing where that line is, is paramount.

      It is like a battle, in fact it is a battle. If I saw a fellow soldier
      walking walking towards a building that hasn’t been cleared yet as an
      example, I don’t say “I don’t agree with where you are going, but its up to
      you”. I would probably tell him “Stop!! don’t go in there, its not
      safe. Not cleared yet” I love him as a brother in both examples, but I
      save him from pain,anguish etc only in the second.

      From Chucks talk on the book of Romans

      Some Perspectives of the Early Church

      1) They were not “on their own.” They had a real sense of community.

      “Ye are not your own; ye are bought with a price,” (1 Cor 6:19, 20).

      2) Life is a battle; a battle to the death!

      3) They had need for rest and leisure, but only to better prepare them for

      the battle.

      4) They understood that the gifts of the Spirit opened up a ministry for

      every single believer. (Those that were not exercising their gifts were

      defrauding the Body.)

      God has not called us to a picnic ground, but to a battleground!

      Everything we do should be directed to the spiritual growth (edification)

      of our neighbor. A Christian should not be self-centered, but should

      be concerned about the spiritual welfare of others

      1. I agree, she was not explicitly condemned by anyone other than her mother who forced the decision upon her. What i was saying was that we are quick to judge, quick to point the finger instead of extend our arms for an embrace. That is all. I understand that sin is sin regardless, and we suffer the consequences of those choices but to know that his mercy and forgiveness surpasses it all is something that my words cannot even begin touch. And yes we are and should in as much as we can be examples of Christs love, mercy and grace.. I can’t save anyone myself that is for Christ to carry out but i can live his word daily and pray for those i love dearly and tell people what i know and have learned through my own erroneous ways and that their is a better way to live that is filled with much more hope and joy..

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